Blues, Networking and Tomahawks (a debriefing)

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Belushi & Aykroyd Scat Singing last Saturday at The Rogue’s Lair

We had an amazing time at Belushi’s farm on Saturday (09-28-19).

As mentioned via my last Weekend Whats newsletter, it was for a good cause (search your inbox, or junk folder, for the email subject: WW – A new name, best movies, 100 towns + more...).

Collectively, we ended up raising over $50k for Johnny Wheels; a bluesy singer and harmonic player who has been paralyzed from the chess down since childhood. His new converted van is on the way.

Jim served his guests like King Arthur served his knights who were back home after a mission from God.

Food, drink and merriment fit for his “Zee Blues”-loving flock.

The smoked Tri-Tip coming off the chuck wagon explains why Nichole asked me, soon as we arrived:

“Why are we walking around first and not going straight for the goods?”

I replied with my best Elwood Blues mannerism: ‘Cause we’re hankerin’ around for the vibe of the party first doll; foooood is our next mission.

When it comes to big parties, or large events where there’s at least 200+ people, I’ve never felt the need to put a “distraction” in my hand (i.e. a wine glass) or in my mouth (i.e., cigar or food)… UNTIL… and only until I scout out the energy of the place.

Who’s doing what? What’s been overheard? How are groups standing around with each other? Is anybody paying attention to anything but themselves?

You get the drift…

Basically, be vigilant with others, not focused on your own needs.

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Nichole is learning to accept (and even enjoy) my quirky little routines and curiosities about people. So, much so… that I swear she was out to “show off” her own courage when she went up to a group of guys (after we ate, of course) and asked, Now… tell me… whose the cigar maestro around this place?

About 20 feet away, I was at a table downing my fourth glass of Mango, Lime, Ginger Kambucha (or some fruity concoction like that). I could only see the sly smile on her face, as she looked back my way.

There’s a personal art (not so much a science) to meeting new people. Over the years, I’ve found that it’s more about your authenticity than your tactics, or your quest for an outcome.

Whenever I’ve just said what’s on my mind, without a lot of layers of what ifs or concerns for approval in the way, I’ve usually got the best results.

Just like when I met Nic almost exactly a year ago, I truly thought she looked confused as I do when in the cereal isle (she was scanning the tea isle at a Trader Joes-like store as if the choices were overwhelming)… so that’s what came out of my mouth when I passed her: You look as confused as I do when I’m shopping for cereal.

30-minutes later, we were still talking…. only to realize we had frozen stuff melting in our carts.

The same level of realness came out of her when at Saturday’s party. She truly just wanted to know where to get a cigar. She knew I didn’t have one; so she veered off from me and… next thing I know, again, I’m looking at her smiling and enjoying good conversation with new, cool people.

One was a French guy from Vegas. He owns three beauty supply places there. One was a local in the Mary Jane industry. One was a writer from New York.

We all just hung out, enjoyed each other’s convo, without any end agenda about it all.

(And, yes, we even got lots of laughs on Nic’s 2nd Tomahawk throw).

At the end of the day, it’s friendliness and joyful experiences that matter most. And when you truly care WHO people are (from the inside out), instead of WHAT they can do for you, they can feel that.

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Some people like to approach networking as a science — with all the accompanied ‘If I do X, they’re respond with Y, then I’ll get Z’ tactics around it. That’s all B.S. and it rarely works.

Instead, it can just be simplified:

  • First get a scan, a big picture awareness, of the vibe of the group.
  • Then, just be yourselves as you walk around, check things out (yes, that does mean a confident walk, eye contact and a soft face with smiles, as warranted).
  • Lastly, just be curious, open and receptive. Before you know it, you’ll be meeting new acquaintances and, if you follow-through and keep in touch, potentially new solid friends.

And those bullets aren’t a blueprint. They’re just the bedrock, the foundation, of being a cool human. As the author Ryan Holiday would also echo:

“Networking is not about finding someone who can help you right this second. It’s about establishing a relationship that can one day benefit both of you.”

We swapped contact numbers with the Vegas guy and the New York author gal.


Because, we each know that the height of what we can achieve is only limited to the depth of our network. The more and more like-minded, ambitious, value-creating people we stay in touch with, the greater our chances for doing bigger things.

Just like I can’t bring forth unique and uncommon information, through, without an ever-expanding brain-trust, the writer we met admitted how she’s constantly diving into her craft through new tools and resources.

She briefly mentioned the folks at I was vaguely familiar with them; however, she put it all in perspective when she highlighted the curation of $6,000+ worth of ecourses, ebooks, software, apps, templates, coupons, and more into this self-publishing collection…

And you can get instant access for only $49 today. This is a no-brainer purchase if you’re even remotely wanted to make a living through your ability to write and wordsmith.

Anyway, that’s my down ‘n dirty debriefing on our attendance at The Rogue’s Lair; the home turf of the Belushi Harvest Party.

Until this weekend…. via Weekend Whats.

Medford, Oregon | 10-2-19

P.S. If you’re not a mere mortal, and maybe come from some far away planet where you were already infused with incredible mental superpowers, then DO NOT read my Introduction to Manifest Life 2.0.

If, however, you are okay accepting you’ve got flaws, kinks and sad sap issues, like most of us humans, then sign up here…

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