Offended on Devil’s Night


Well, shit-far, here we are.

Halloween came and gone — in a flash. How damn rude.

As mentioned last week, we made it to Halloween Town. The small, idyllic New England-esque town, founded by Captain Henry Montgomery Knighton in 1845, just north of Portland, Oregon… and bordering the Columbia River.

It was everything, on Devil’s Night (October 30th), it was cracked up to be. From the City Hall, town square, and the “Twilight House” lurking in the background behind a small narrow alley…

We soaked-up the sights and sounds…


And we enjoyed many stories. From the time old Ruthie Bell Raymond fell through a frozen Columbia river in 1917 (still haunting riverboats to this day), to one to add homage to all the head-shaking snowflake stories you only think are social media folklore.

Here’s my own personal story about Saturday:

So me and my gal, Nic, are waiting on the dock for either a big water taxi boat, or a small 6-seater pontoon (shown below way off in the distance) to take us over to Sand Island.

It appeared the couple (and two small kids) standing right in front of us — mind you, not the most engaging and socially-aware adults as they didn’t turn around once to nod or smile — were next in line to utilize the small pontoon.

Along with another couple ahead of them, they walked down the dock to hop on the boat. Two minutes later, the socially-awkward couple (and two small kids in tow) were headed back our way. The captain’s mate motioned Nic & I over.

small boat

I asked, were the kids too small to be on this boat?

“Nope,” said the Captain, “I offended the mother!”

Ahhh, how?

“Well, you saw that one of her kids was dressed like a rapper, right?”

Indeed, I did. Great costume.

“I simply smiled and asked the kid if he was going to lay down some ‘fat’ beats for us while we cross the river!”


“That didn’t sit well with the Mom. As she asked me if I was trying to say something about her family.”

Like that she is fat? (er, she really wasn’t). Did she need clarifying context that you were giving urban lingo; as in a P-H-A-T kinda of fatt?

“I don’t have the patience or time to explain myself to people like that, so I gladly told them to get back on the dock and go elsewhere.”

Lovely. Oh what sensitive times we’re in.

And what’s infuriating for me is that the “father” didn’t have any say in this nonsensical offense. Then again, maybe it had everything to do with he being dressed up in a bunny suit (So, so scaaaaary)!

Which leads me into friend Tim Knight’s recent post about MEN, and a few of my associated links:

by Tim Knight:

Four years ago, I did a post called, dangerously, Addicted to Hitler Radio. In the post I wrote, in part:

However, the vast majority of what it plays on this customer-made station (Adolf Hitler Radio – see above) are recordings of speeches from the likes of FDRChurchill, and Harry Truman. I’ve never really listened to old speeches before, but by God, they are fascinating. It’s like being whisked back in time and listening to history as it was actually happening.

I seem to have returned to this “mode”, because for many days now, I’ve been listening to random speeches from the middle of the 20th century: Eisenhower, Truman, Reagan, Churchill, and so on.

There are a few things that I find striking, and consistent, while listening to these:

  • MEN: There was no canard about fifty-seven genders. All the speeches referred to humanity as if men were the only gender. Brave men did this. Courageous men did that. The nation will rise up as one man and do thus-and-such. And so on. I’ve got to admit, I’m kind of jealous of the era. Not that women should have been deliberately excluded. But it sure was a time-saver since they didn’t have to cover every single possibility to make sure some freak wasn’t offended.

BG’s Note: I have a ‘Tribute to Men’ post here:

  • VALUES: Everything they said was anchored in clear, easily-understood values. Freedom. Democracy. Peace. The United States seemed like a place with very well-understood, widely-embraced ideals. We were all pulling in the same direction. Of course, there’s nothing more unifying for a people than to have a common enemy.

BG’s Note: I learned a few things about Values from some Navy SEALs here:

  • GOD: This is the one which impressed me the most. And I’m not talking about the desultory “God bless America” that every politician mumbles at the end of everything they say. God was a big force in these speeches. He was guiding us. He had brought grace upon us. He would see us through these travails. These major political leaders spoke of God without embarrassment, discomfort, or because focus groups suggested they do so. You could tell they really believed in what they were saying, and they saw the United States as a God-driven agent of good in a very dangerous world.

BG’s Note: I only hope I can know “G-O-D” like this kindergardner did:

Enjoy the links. And I’ll be with in your inbox this week again soon.

Share this post / page here:
Scroll to Top